The Start of a Story About Probability, Life, God, and PoP Quizzes

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This is the start of a story I had written three or four years ago. As I remember, the main character starts out with a view that there is no God. Then the character falls in love and believes that there is a benevolent God. Next there is the break up and the God is suddenly seen as a cruel manipulator. Finally life moves on to another love interest and the main character reaffirms that there is no God, but has learned that life is pleasant, confusing, sad, and whimsical all at the same time. That was the plot, here is the way it has started (which is all that is written of it so far).

"There is no God. This is a given. Life is not the creation of some Supreme Being. Life is the result of universal systems shifting to match some insanely improbable situation, the result of which was, first a cosmic explosion in which matter chased antimatter across at speeds which are assumed faster than light. An explosion that birthed rocks of mass and gravity, as well as stars of volatile, fiery gases. Probability again backhanded reality when, on one of these rocks, she provided the chance where when certain chemicals mingled, they would manifest a primal desire to survive. Life at its basest. All life can be seen as a coincidental make up of chemicals that desire their survival. Even humans. Even me. I am only another set, albeit more complex, of chemicals surviving. There is no me. There is no us. There are only these chemicals that roam in our guise.

Perhaps it is the improbability of these chemicals mixing to form a selfish compound, or that improbability of a certain rock having a delicate balance good enough to oblige these chemicals with what they required that made man first run to the answer of God. God. Man's first escape from reality. The harsh reality one wakes up to everyday, in which we roam, passing casual smiles at people we don't much care about. The reality of this pop quiz test in front of me. I swear, the chances of life? Probably less that one in a trillion. The chances I would have passed this test? Five questions multiple choice, so at least ten percent that I pass. That is ten trillion times the reason why I exist. And yet, I see this 'F' staring back at me from my quiz.

I restate my theory: there is no God. Man's miserable existence on earth would just have easily not been so and soon chance may shift again to end us. We are powerless and struggle as pathetically and for the same end as the lowliest or most primal of creatures: survival.

So I guess if I wanna continue to bore you, maybe I should introduce myself. I am that fellow in class, you know, the goth. My grades suck but I have long given up trying. Life has no point. Well ok, so I'm not a goth. I don't do the black clothes/lipstick thing. But I'll bet I'm not the bubbliest person you've met. I have hair that combs itself in a messy sort of way. I usually wear my comfy gray sweater and black slacks. I go to night college, and it bores me more than my day job. But I believe it will be my way out of this town. I hate this town. It's so damn fake. Houses look strong but every one has a broken family. People will smile but only because they look for self pity. The whole damn town is a gray. Don't get me wrong. It has trees, red mailboxes, you name it. I mean it just seems...gray. It's like we're all waiting for something to happen. Most of us will die waiting."